Benjamin 'Benjy' Paul Weenink

Eulogy

Benjy was loved by everyone he met. He was hilarious, gorgeous, kind, talented, mischievous, confident, adventurous and emotionally attuned. He was so full of light and life and would bring such a positive energy to every interaction he had. In his 16 years he packed in more fun, adventure and joy than many people manage in a long lifetime. He lived life to the absolute fullest, and loved his family and friends deeply. He tragically died in a car accident at Second Valley in December 2023. Benjy was taken too soon, but we will never forget him and the impact he had on this world. *** Below is a full transcript of the eulogy that Benjy's family read at his funeral. We hope it will give you some insight into the amazing person Benjy was: *** JEREMY (dad): Our beautiful baby boy Benjy was the most charismatic, hilarious, loving, thoughtful, special boy, who brought fun, light and joy everywhere he went. He had the most natural ability to put anyone at ease with his gorgeous nature and sparkling smile and he is loved by everyone who met him. Benjy was born at Flinders 12 weeks after we moved over from the UK with 4 year old Jasper and 2 year old Henry in tow. Anna wanted to call Benjy Monty and I wanted Louis, but it was actually Jasper who named him. We found a little note Jasper had written which read ?I have a brother and his name is Ben? and it just felt perfect. Benjy came out with dark black hair and the chubbiest little face. He didn?t bother talking until he was over two because he could make funny little noises to communicate and we all knew what he wanted. When Edie was born (at home) he immediately said ?I want hold it? and he cut the cord with Emily. A few weeks after Edie was born, someone asked him ?did your baby sister come out of your mummy?s tummy?? And he said ?no it came out of her bum, I saw!? As a toddler, he called Jasper ?Baba?, Henry was ?Aya?, and he called himself ?Bun?, although when he was a little older, Anna one day asked him, ?do you know what your full name is?? and he very proudly said ?Yes! Benjy Swimming Pool Weenink?. His big brothers loved to teach him naughty words - one that comes to mind was ?willy guts? which became something he would yell out in church. Always the adventurer, he first walked all the way up and down Waterfall Gully when he was 4. He went to Eden Hills kindy with his close friends Ruben, Indi and Eli. He went on to Eden Hills Primary school, where he made some beautiful friends who are still his close mates today. Benjy followed in the footsteps of his brothers and went to Urrbrae for High School, where he really enjoyed PE, Outdoor Ed, and mainly socialising with basically every student he came across. We have heard many a story in the past week of kids who knew Benjy from the bus or the train and could recall his joking around and big personality, and especially his out of tune singing. His favourite teacher was Humanities teacher Mr Royce. He was looking forward to studying Psychology and Music in Year 11. Benjy was good at everything he tried - surfing, skating, BMX, guitar, soccer, tennis, juggling, bouldering, photography, backflips - you name it he could do it. Benjy just loved music. He was such a groover and would dance at any possible opportunity with his smooth moves. Benjy had so many playlists. He was always singing along in the backseat anytime we were in the car. A highlight memory for me was taking him to the Cypress Hill and Ice Cube concert earlier this year. Many family road trip memories included particular songs that Benjy loved to belt out - Stan by Eminem, Waterfalls by TLC and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, to name a few. In the past couple of years he really got into his guitar - Liv gifted him a guitar for his 15th birthday last year and he was so chuffed. He played it so often and had gotten so good at it. Some songs he loved playing include Wonderwall, Don't Look Back in Anger, Iris by the Googoo Golls, and Brazil by Declan McKenna. We loved hearing him get home and head straight to the guitar and start strumming away. One of the things we found most endearing was his confident, enthusiastically loud (but terrible!) singing - we still can?t work out if he was just completely unaware of how tone deaf he was, or just genuinely did not care as he lived so unashamedly, without inhibitions. For Benjy?s 16th birthday this year, we took him skydiving at McLaren Vale, and he was soooo excited. He had quite the story to tell, after he got carried away with the wind and landed directly on top a vineyard! The plan was for me, Anna and Benjy to all go together, but unfortunately the wind picked up too much so I had to postpone my jump - I will be doing it on Christmas Eve and the whole family will be coming along to watch, in honour of Benjy. *** JASPER (brother): Our grandparents love Benjy so much. Granny and Grandpa (mum's parents Paul and Sarah) moved to Australia 5 years ago and have always lived close by, and had so many opportunities to spend time with all us kids. They would take us out regularly for dinners at the Belair Hotel or hot chocolates at Bracegirdles, and Benjy always loved this and was grateful for these times with family. Granny felt particularly connected to Benjy having been present at his birth. Oma and Opa (Dad?s parents Bert and Maria) live in Wales, and while they haven?t had as much time with us all in person, they have such a special relationship with us all. They have visited us here in Australia every year, with the interruption of Covid. They were able to come and spend time in Australia earlier this year, and we had a lovely family trip to the Grampians, which Benjy loved. We were also lucky enough to go and visit Oma and Opa and many family friends back in the UK in 2018. We went on so many incredible holidays as a family. To the UK, Europe, Borneo, New Zealand, Bali and the Gili Islands. Ever the adventurous spirit, Benjy lapped it all up and made the most of any opportunity to have a fun or crazy adventure while on holiday. Benjy loved animals and we had many pets over the years, including two rats he named Oscar with a C and Oskar with a K. For Benjy?s 10th birthday, mum and dad got 8-week-old puppy Monty for him as a surprise and he was so delighted. When he, Edie and Liv went to a Greyhound Adoption day earlier this year, genuinely not planning to come home with a dog, it was Benjy who enthusiastically said ?let?s get one!? and convinced Liv and Edie to take Stevie home. In fact, the minute they walked in and approached Stevie, she jumped right up on Benjy putting her paws up on his shoulders so Benjy was sold. Mum tells me he was recently hassling her for a kitten! Now let?s talk about his hair cuts. Gosh, Benjy had so many funny home-job haircuts. Whether it was his mates, Edie, or himself cutting the hair, he was always up to try a new style. Mum still remembers the image of Edie literally putting a mixing bowl from the kitchen on his head and just chopping around it last year. If anyone could pull off a bowl cut though, it was Benjy. *** HENRY (brother): Benjy and I had so many amazing, fun memories together. We called ourselves the Mischief brothers, and certainly lived up to that name. Benjy absolutely loved the beach - he would always go at any opportunity. We can still picture him running into the water at full speed (no matter what the temperature) and just diving/jumping/falling straight into the shallows. He had so many amazing times surfing with dad, and he was so free in the water. He loved being at Seacliff and standing still, letting the sting rays go over his feet. He loved jetty jumping at Noarlunga, snorkelling and cliff jumping at Second Valley. Benjy loved living in the hills, close to his friends and all the activities he loved, getting up to mischief around the area. In fact, mum told me that when one of her friends recently came over to her place and saw the ?Aero? tag pressure hosed into the concrete driveway, they said ?oh I?ve seen that Aero tag around Blackwood?. Yep, that was Benjy?s! Ok ok, all juvenile delinquent jokes aside, we all know that Benjy was a good kid, and a real hard worker. He had two part-time jobs. First job was at Waggon Wheels, a fruit and veg shop in Blackwood, where he worked with me. He also managed to get about 4 of his mates a job there, which means he must have done well to impress our boss Ash, since they never previously hired friends of employees. He then did his year 10 work experience at Weekends Surf Shop, and impressed them so much, he got a job right after, as the owner Greg immediately loved Benjy. Benjy was so excited about the future - all the tattoos he wanted to get (he even has a big A3 page of sketches titled ?tattoo ideas? in his room on his desk) and he was constantly nagging mum and dad to let him get a tattoo. Obviously they said absolutely not, but then of course Benjy absolutely convinced them to to let him get a tiny little smiley face tattoo on his side done by our cousin Enzo, matching Mum, me and Jasper. Liv also got the same tattoo so she could be part of the gang. Benjy was planning to get a stingray tattooed onto his left ankle - something that many of his friends and family are planning to do in his honour. *** ANNA (mum): I am so glad I decided to take my 3 boys on a trip to the Flinders Ranges in September. I felt strongly that I needed to have a special holiday with the boys this year, and it was a truly sacred and beautiful time with so many incredible hikes and adventures. While we were away, I asked each of the boys to come up with one big question they wanted to ask everyone else one night - and Benjy?s question to us all was ?do you have any regrets?? - Benjy?s response was that his only life regret was hitting an entire vape with a friend (you know who you are!) and throwing up. I?m glad he regretted that, as ever since he would tell us frequently about how much he hated vaping and how uncool it was. Remember that kids! He did however, enjoy a few other naughty teenage vices. He loved trying to convince us to let him have a sneaky sambuca shot with his aunty Kate, or a cheeky beer at a party. He had us wrapped around his finger and was hard to say no to. Honestly, we couldn?t even ground him - we tried just the other week, for something minor, but somehow we forgot he was grounded and so he proceeded to invite his boys over for a sleepover, and when we remembered he was grounded he said ?oh I?m so sorry I forgot but I?ve already invited them!? We have since found out he was well aware he was grounded but pretended he?d forgotten!! We had Liv's mum Pauline?s 70th birthday in October, a Scottish Ceyleigh (traditional dance) with a tartan theme. Now you?d think most 16 year old boys would not be into that kind of party, but Benjy was so up for coming along. He happily danced away with the oldies, helped out Andy in the kitchen, and then on the drive home, belted out Waterfalls with me in the car. Benjy loved making stuff and was so creative and handy. For his year 7 project he and I made a chicken shed at our house in Eden Hills, wearing matching Pulp Fiction T-shirts. Just a few months ago, at our house in Blackwood, he suddenly decided one Sunday afternoon that he wanted to make a rope swing, and so he got to it and enlisted Grandpas help. A couple of hours later, there it was, slung over a large tree in our front yard. There was a time recently when we saw him sitting outside on the swing with the guitar, just strumming away, completely at peace in nature and his own company. We?re so glad we were able to capture that moment with some beautiful photos, and he didn?t even realise. Anyone who knew Benjy knew he just loooooved getting his shirt off. In fact, once I got told off by his teacher at primary school because he was always taking his top off. That never changed. I'm so proud of how Benjy treated his girlfriends and their mums have commented on how they were blown away by this. However, he also took great joy in pissing off his friends by objectifying their mums and sisters as much as he could. Sorry for that, particularly to Xav and Wil?s family! Two years ago, Benjy?s life changed dramatically when J and I told him we were separating due to me finally accepting my sexuality. The way he (and our other kids) navigated our separation and all the massive changes that followed was so incredible. He showed so much love and compassion for me, (although he liked to throw out the occasional jokey homophobic comment here and there for a laugh). He loved having Liv in his life as a bonus mum (although he would jokingly call Liv ?dad? just to piss her off). His amazing pride of his gay mums and his fierce allyship is something I was grateful for and proud of. He was a true advocate for what he believed in. He would always stand up for his little sister if she was ever having any trouble. Benjy spoke alot recently about his future plans and dreams. He wanted to work in mental health and spoke about becoming a counsellor, or an OT, and said he loved the idea of working with kids with disabilities. Benjy was amazing with little kids too and one of the bonuses of J?s lovely girlfriend Georgia was her two sweet boys who he was loving getting to know. Benjy was so excited about us having foster babies again soon, and kept asking when Liv?s assessment would come through so we could start ASAP. Liv just got her foster care approval the day after he died. We are so grateful and amazed to think that the past few weeks and months of Benjy?s life were so full of fun and adventure - just as he lived his whole life. Even on his last weekend, he went out on the Saturday night for his Waggon Wheels work Christmas party with Henry, and they stayed out til 4am singing karaoke - we were told by his boss Ash that he ?annihilated her in a rap battle!? A few days before that he had spent a perfect day out in the surf with dad. The weekend before at our house he spent the Friday night with me and Liv on the couch for a movie night - he chose the Heath Ledger doco to watch. He snuggled into me for the whole movie then fell asleep in my lap. He had his best mates over that Saturday night and they hung out in the shed, ordered Dominos, and had a sleepover in the retro room as they often did. They demolished the gingerbread house me and Liv had just made and Benjy commented that our matching Christmas jumpers looked ?so gay?! On the Sunday, he impressed our Woodworth St neighbours who came over for afternoon tea, with his warmth and charisma. He even took a plate of food over the road to our 95-year-old neighbour Pat Goldsworthy (who he hadn?t even met yet) as she couldn?t make it to afternoon tea due to being unwell. We spent the rest of that Sunday evening playing a favourite family card game, Estimation Wist - Benjy was absolutely on form that night, cracking jokes and calling outrageous risky blind misses and non-stop laughing. Then off he went to Dad's house with a hug and ?I love you?. The week before that he had attended Edie?s end of year dance concert - he was so proud of her, loudly (and rather obnoxiously) yelling ?GO EDIE? all throughout the concert. We are so so grateful that the last few days, weeks, and months of Benjy?s life were so packed with amazing fun experiences. We really made the most of every moment and feel so lucky to have had those times. Benjy was unashamedly a mummy's boy. I mean, he saved his name into my phone as ?Benjy Fave?, and I never did change it. Hannah who was his beautiful first high school girlfriend (well, at least the first one we knew about!) told us about a little argument they had about who loved each other more, and he eventually he gave up and said ?ok you win, I love my mum more than you?. I always loved how proudly he would give me a hug goodbye and say ?I love you mum? in front of all his friends. We had such a beautifully open and honest relationship. I really felt that I knew my boy deeply, and equally, that I was so known by him. We shared so much of our selves and our innermost feelings and had a uniquely close mother-son bond. For my 40th birthday last year, Benjy put up a beautiful (and hilarious) birthday post to me on Instagram, saying ?I?m so proud of you mum?and how you?ve dealt with the current situation. It proves how much of a strong independent woman you are?. I am holding onto those words now, hoping he would be saying the same thing to me now. *** JEREMY (dad): Benjy was described this week by Liv?s brother in law Andy so perfectly - he said Benjy was ?a star so bright, so filled with energy that he pulled people and communities into his orbit from unimaginable corners of the universe, to bask in the warmth of his very being, giving them life, joy and purpose?. Benjy was the most adventurous, free-spirited, fearless person. Even to his last moments, his friends have shared that Benjy was singing loudly in the backseat, having so much fun and just living his life to the absolute fullest. We are heartbroken and the pain is immeasurable. But we are so grateful that we all had such an incredible relationship with him. He knew he was so loved. We have a million happy memories with him. We thank God for the wonderful 16 years we had with our beautiful boy Benjy. We are so proud of Benjy and everything he brought to this world. We love you Benjy and we will see you soon. *** EDIE (sister): I don?t even know where to start. As well as being the best and most perfect brother, Benjy was also my best friend. I would tell him everything, and he would always be the first to know any problem in my life. And no matter how weird, sad or boring it was he would always listen to it and then somehow make me laugh and that was my favourite thing about him. His humour always made mine and everybody?s day so much brighter. I will miss all the times my tummy hurt or my eyes were exploding with water laughing with him, but I will treasure every moment and look back on them and can still laugh. Benjy had the biggest heart. Anybody that had Benjy in their lives or even had the smallest interaction with him, is so lucky because they got to experience the light of Benjy. His joy, positivity and laugh was infectious. He was a very smart kid, however when playing teachers and schools with me, let?s just say he really enjoyed being the naughty kid in the class. He was also extremely full of talent, and everything he tried he succeeded at. He wanted to share these talents with so many, and he would spend hours trying to teach me how to backflip on the trampoline, how to juggle, or how to do a chin-up. I didn?t succeed in all of them but am still so grateful for all the time he put into helping me learn and how much we laughed at how terrible I was at most of them! One of my favourite recent memories of Benjy was when I convinced him and Xav to learn a dance I choreographed to Wannabe by the Spice Girls to perform to all my friends at my 13th birthday party in February. He and Xav really took on the challenge, and absolutely nailed it (I probably should mention I bribed them with $20 to get them to do it). I just knew that life had so much in store for Benjy, and he would?ve made lives so much better wanting to volunteer overseas at the end of year 12 and wanting to do work around mental health/counselling. He would?ve inspired so many kids with how much he really did live his life to the fullest, but I hope that this still comes true because he may be gone but he and his story will not be forgotten. I could talk and talk and talk about how incredible and utterly perfect he was but I would not shut up. I am heartbroken that all the memories I have made with Benjy have come to an end but I will hold on to every single one, and am so grateful for the brother I had. I love you so much Benjy and will continue to love you even more while you are in God?s hands.